Rogue's Gallery: Patrick Hager

Take a look at this tear-stained letter some guy wrote to Time:

"As the father of an adult son living with epilepsy, I am disappointed in Klein's unfortunate word choice in comparing the stridency of cable-TV news to an "epileptic seizure." I look to TIME to bring clarity and thoughtfulness to news, not to contribute to the stigmatization of such a misunderstood and underfunded disorder. Perhaps Klein can take this opportunity to report on the lack of coherent national policy relating to epilepsy, which affects the daily lives of millions of Americans."

Patrick Hager, ST. PAUL, MINN.

Firstly, who looks to Time for clarity and thoughtfulness? It comes free to my place so I read it every week. I rarely come away thinking, "Now every thing is clear thanks to that insightful article!" I usually come away thinking, "How do they manage to relate everything to the next election cycle?"

Secondly, is Patrick Hager really so fatuous as to not recognize a simile? Joe Klein didn't say epilepsy caused the stridency in cable-TV news. In fact, reading the article again, it doesn't seem to me that he mentioned stridency at all. He was referring to the overreaction, on cable news, to every single event, causing them to shake and quiver as if they had epilepsy. At least that's what I took away. To be honest, the line doesn't even make that much sense. Such vague lines are perfect for oversensitive people just waiting for the next oppurtunity to whine. This guy is like the Al Sharpton of epilepsy.

"Contribut[ing] to the stigmatization of such a misunderstood and underfunded disorder." As misunderstood as it may be, nobody on earth thinks epilepsy leads to cable news anchor symptoms. Nobody watches cable news and says "Thanks a lot epilepsy!"

Imagine if an earthquake shook apart my building and I was interviewed on CNN. They ask me "What happened to your building" and I said, "Well, it just started shaking itself apart, like it was having an epileptic seizure." And out there in St. Paul, Minnesota is Patrick Hager, ever vigilant, already howling at the TV before I've even finished my sentence. "He is contributing to the widespread myth that epilepsy causes earthquakes," he shouts. "The injustice! I won't stand for it!"

This is the kind of idiocy that goes by the name of "advocacy." It is practiced by people like Al Sharpton and Bill Donohue. And for some reason cable news loves it. These people can always find a forum to whine about a non-issue. Whining is big business these days.

Legitimate whining happens every now and then. It bubbles up a little bit and quickly dissipates. But loud, hysterical whining about something as insignificant as Don Imus can stay in the headlines for weeks. And that is thanks to people like Patrick Hager. A constant victim, ever-whining, about nothing.