American Atheists

I signed up for the American Atheist newsletter years ago so I could laugh at crazy shit Christians did but I am getting minute updates on billboards now. Am I the only one who finds billboards the absolute, most boring topic in the world? I know, I'm asking people who dedicate blogs to there kids as if THEY are interesting, but as humans, we have to draw a line somewhere, right?

By the way, about your kids......that's enough. Every time I hit Next Blog it is another excessive brood. Are people really still going for four kids? It's not like we live in the jungle anymore, people, two is enough. I know you think your genes are great but....they're really not. If they were so great we wouldn't have to learn about them in a blog.

Some blogs are just dedicated to one kid. What is this shit? How great could he be? Most calves can walk the minute they hit ground, can your kid do that? If not, then he is nothing special. Stop writing about him. Get a baby book. That's what my mom did. And nobody looks at it. Because I'm not interesting. I'm not even interesting to my family, can you imagine if I had a blog dedicated to me? Holy shit, we are talking billboard-boring. And I'm not exceptionally boring, I'm just regular person boring. Like your kid. I did happen to help make a movie though, so having buttered you up so much, I think it's only fair that you watch it.

Think about it

60,096 views on youtube:



60,572 views on youtube:



134,892 views on youtube:



7, 445 views on youtube:



Is this why you people don't have time to view Jack's Living Dead Girl? Would it help if we just looped every line for 10 minutes?

I hope you people hate yourselves as much as I hate you. And as much as Boss Nigger hates you.

Bullet Dodged!

We were totally going to call our movie "The Legend of Nigger Charlie" but decided not to. Boy, it's a good thing we didn't:



It's already a great movie!

Who says vampires don't have soul?

We didn't even try to approach the greatness of this movie:



I mean, there is ambition and then there is delusion.

We did, however, try to approach the greatness of this movie:



Whether we did or not, is not for me to say. Some have said Jack's Living Dead Girl is "Boss Nigger-esque." Who's to say who's right? Opinions will differ.

Muse

Hey folks, how are you doing? Yeah,enough about you, let's get down to the movie. I thought it might be interesting to show where we got most of our inspiration for Jack's Living Dead Girl. Obviously, in order to write a decent vampire movie, you have familiarize yourself with some of the vampire shows that did it the best. It is widely agreed that nobody has yet to surpass the bar set by Deafula:



I know it's cliche, but yes, he was our main source of inspiration too. While Deafula is the basis for most of Jack's Living Dead Girl's atmospherics (as well as the inspiration for not being able to hear big chunks of dialogue) when it comes to straight up gruesome horror, we went to the master:



The part in Jack's Living Dead Girl where Cassie is raped is taken directly from Count Duckula, although we toned it down a bit. We didn't want the similarities to be too obvious, and besides, no one was willing to portray the violent rape that is depicted in Count Duckula.

Anyway, those are the main sources of inspiration for our movie. Hopefully we didn't rip them off too badly. If so, I'll be waiting for my braille cease and desist notice. Deaf people read braille, right? I'm pretty sure that's correct.

Hello Opportunity

In Michelle Goldeberg's article Sex Slave Outrage she informs us of the troubles http://www.backpage.com/ is involved in. The Rebecca Project for Human Rights is running an ad trying to get Backpage to stop letting pimps sell little girls to pedophiles. The ad states:  "Do you really want to provide a platform for predators who pay for sex with girls?” If they have any decency, they do not.

I, on the other hand, would love too! I'm willing to let pimps and perverts of all sorts peddle their wares on my blog if they will watch the movie Jack's Living Dead Girl. It's a win/win. It's largely known that unrepentant child traffickers and creepy pedophiles are an untapped constituency and I want in. They just might bump up the pageviews of this blog to such an extent that it becomes a Blog of Note, and then there is no telling just how many arts & crafts lovers might view our movie. That's called a business strategy!

Warning: The following video is the equivalence of two tabs of acid

As the steward of this blog I watched all 10:02 seconds of this video. Around minute 8:00 I started hallucinating.




 I also noticed that this video of John Pertwee saying "Splink!" for ten minutes has about as many views on youtube as the movie Jack's Living Dead Girl which I helped make. This fact makes me hate every breathing thing populating the earth. Yes, even the loris...Especially the loris!

If you just watched that video, I will remind you that Jack's Living Dead Girl is available on this blog in it's splendiferous entirety. And it's a good way to wash the John Pertwee out of your mouth. It's too late for me, his cries of  "Splink" will haunt me long into the future, but there is still a chance for you. Just click on the post entitled "Watch the fucking movie" and act accordingly.

Just a reminder

There is a perfectly good movie just waiting to be watched. So...y'know....do it!