Dog Day Afternooner

There is an article in Time about all the dog memoirs that are out or are coming out. Listen to some of these titles and tell me they don't all sound like some sick dog-on-person romance novels: You Had Me at Woof,  Marley Looks for Love, What a Difference a Dog Makes, Oogy: The Dog only a Family Could Love, Bad Dog: A Love Story, Finding Harmony: The Dog That Taught a Young Woman to Live Again* (My personal favorite).

Then there is perhaps the most explicit: Inside of a Dog.

Zoinks! Doesn't leave much to the imagination.

So that is the slate of books to quench your thirst for hardcore puppy love.



*Our movie, Jack's Living Dead Girl, is also about a young woman living again.

Oh, the humanity!

I stumbled across this character in the book Bright-Sided by Barabara Ehrenreich: "Buford P. Fuddwhacker is described  as "a down-home motivational speaker who brings the fervor and energy of a fired-up country preacher to the platform. When you unleash Buford on your audience, get ready for music, laughter, kazoos, karaoke, and outrageous audience participation." This has got to be a warning to never, under any circumstances, unleash Buford on your audience. A visit to his website confirms the wisdom of this advice.

Rarely a good sign, his website has a section explaing "What's so funny about Buford." I assume this question is asked frequently by people who have been the victim of a Buford unleashing.

Another line that sounds more like a warning than recommendation is this: "Everyone quickly discovers Buford's a wild eccentric with wacky inventions, and crazy stories about kinfolk and farm animals."

*Shudder* I'm almost positive I don't want to hear crazy stories about his kinfolk and farm animals.

And here is another heart-stopping line: "He catches people off-guard." Can you think of a more horrifying possibility than having Buford P. Fuddwacker jump out of you're bushes why your trying to unlock the door. Just think of what he did to those poor farm animals.

No, Buford should not be unleashed. I'm not sure he should even be uncaged.

ML not OK

According to Cecil Adams at Straight Dope Martin Luther King Jr. was also a plagiarist. And while Cecil Adams has been accused of not existing, he has never been accused of plagiarizing. So I trust him. Also bear in mind this pseudo-mans astute words about MLK: "Was he a great American? No argument here. Was he a fraud and a hypocrite? He was that, too."

Also, don't research Martin Luther King Jr.'s flaws at martinlutherking.org because it is run by Stormfront, a white supremacist web site. Although, I'm sure they have meticulously studied his flaws, there is something about a neo-Nazi website that just makes me assume they're biased against facts and reality.

MLK Jr.'s Ebony column

In my continuing quest to find the worst in everybody I decided to dive into Martin Luther King Jr.'s two year long column in Ebony magazine. The column was called Advice for Living and it is fucking dreadful. It is a lot of God-blather and florid nonsense. I suggest everyone read it here. The Martin Luther King Jr. Papers Project has all the information you could want. MLK can write about race relations but anything else of a personal nature and he's about as good as any other revoltingly pious person. He condemns Rock & Roll and gambling. He says a women's primary obligation is birth. He makes a lot of upright noises about marital fidelity while fucking everyone but his wife. Just awful stuff. I'm glad I found it! Remember people: There are no heroes!

Kidney Stone

People, the quicker you watch our vampirella farce and it starts making lot's of money, the sooner I can consume the $10,000 Martini on a Rock at the Algonquin Hotel. I would like nothing more than to end this life with a diamond lodged in my throat.

Much less popular is our local Motel 6's Martini on some Rocks, which is a martini poured over some gravel from the parking lot.

I have not what you seek

Most of my traffic now seems to come through variously-punctuated google searches of the phrase "It's like a crime-scene in my pants." Assuming (and hoping) it's the same person every time, I have to admire your diligence. I'm not really sure what you are after, I provided a link to the phrase's use in the movie No Strings Attached in this link. If you're just looking for a general discussion of the line's merits I don't think your going to find that here. I'm kind of surprised you keep clicking on the link to my blog only to be disappointed again and again. Keep up the good fight, though. It's your life.

Evidentally

There are lot's of papers using the term "preliminary evidence." What is preliminary evidence? Doesn't that mean "evidence in preperation for evidence?" Does that make any sense? It's either evidence or it's not. Preliminary to what? Can something just be preliminary in general? Surely it has to be preliminary to something. What set me off was this person quoted  in Bright-Sided. The person says their paper provides preliminary evidence that happy people are healthier than less happy people. I assume she means the evidence is preliminary to future studies. But wouldn't all evidence be preliminary to future studies. This term has no meaning does it? I think I'm on to something. Or stupid. I can rarely tell the difference.